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A northern poet in a jazzy shirt addresses the room like it owes him money. He reads poems about childhood, fatherhood and a future in which the nation finally admits it has made a mistake. There are memories, grievances, domestic scenes and a mostly imaginary rivalry with Simon Armitage for the role of Poet Laureate. Until that is resolved, he teaches poetry and waits. Bleak, deadpan and strangely tender, the show skirts between kitchen-sink confessional and prophecy. Spoken word for people who enjoy discomfort and the sound of ambition grinding its teeth.
This is an archived listing from the 2026 Edinburgh Festival Fringe. I'm The One Your Mother Warned You About is by Mike Rophone, listed under Spoken Word in the Fringe programme. It plays at Just The Tonic at The Hive, 15-17 Niddry St, EH1 1LG, 6 August to 13 August.
The show runs 45 minutes and is suitable for ages 16+. Tickets are £7.50. Content warnings: Strong language.