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Fringe smash-hit Pirates returns – bigger, louder, and sillier than ever! 'Total joy' ***** (TheWeeReview.com). After a dastardly betrayal, wannabe pirate captain Sharkbait Mulligan finds himself with just the clothes on his chest and the rum on his chest. Together with first/best/only mate Louie, the pair race against time to hunt for revenge, gold, and bootleg DVDs. Expect action-packed adventure, nautical nonsense and the real* Orlando Bloom. (*not really). 'You laugh so hard your tummy hurts... timbers shivered' **** (AYoungishPerspective.co.uk).
This is an archived listing from the 2026 Edinburgh Festival Fringe. Pirates: You Wouldn't Steal A Boat is by Spruce Moose Comedy, listed under Comedy in the Fringe programme. It plays at Gilded Balloon Patter House, 3 Chambers St, EH1 1HT, 5 August to 17 August.
The show runs 60 minutes and is suitable for ages 12+. Tickets from £10.